When you were conceived in the mother’s womb you did nothing for 9 months other than simply lying there and growing up from a fertilized egg to a full-grown baby. 

Breathing, eating, digesting, shitting, pissing, etc. everything was done by your mother on your behalf. 

You simply enjoyed your paradise for 9 months- with no work, no tensions and no responsibilities.

You were totally at peace – feeling oneness with your mother because you were a part of her. 

This was the new life beginning for you and you felt totally centered with the universe around you.

This oneness was your True Spiritual Centre or Your Real Self because this centre was your life’s beginning and The Source of your new life’s energy.

All this happened totally unconsciously at the energy level or the spiritual level d-e-e-e-p within every cell of your growing body………

Your beautiful paradise of total unconditional love, security and happiness was lost!

You lost contact with your Spiritual Centre. 

Coming out for the first time into a new world was a big birth trauma for the new born baby’s body, mind and soul. 

It was an absolutely new traumatic experience of harsh lights, loud noises coming from the medical staff in the labor room and rough handling by human hands. 

That sense of total peace, quiet bliss and utter security in the womb was permanently lost………

The foremost thing that the loss of the paradise leads to is a sense of tremendous loss and insecurity. 

Next is a deep fear of the unknown.

An undercurrent of inadequacy and inferiority runs in the developing child’s mind all the time.

A basic shyness from mixing openly with other human beings comes into picture in different degree in different children.

All this accumulates as a deep sense of frustration and anger against the whole injustice of it.

All these accumulated negative emotions boil over into conflicts with other human beings - who in the first place are equally in suffering because the loss of their own paradise!………

So you see, your outer world is an exact replica of your inner world.

Because you have gone away from your True Center your mind is basically insecure, inadequate and inferior. 

No one else is actually doing anything wrong to you.

No friends are bad, no situation is threatening, no job insecurity is actually there. 

It’s you who is projecting your own inner insecurity into your studies, relationships, work, etc. and then feeling lousy about it.

Similarly, you project your inner confusion and fears into things, people and circumstances around you. 

Then you blame those outer things for your miserable life.

The own inner frustration of your loss gets added up as accumulated anger and spills over onto people around you. 

Then you mistakenly feel that they don’t understand you and are hurting you deliberately.

As we said earlier ‘the outer world is a reflection of your inner world’. 

Once you are able to be centered once again into your True Center all the inner chaos disappears.

Automatically, the confusion in the outer world also disappears………

Your very aliveness all your life means that The Source of your life’s energy ie. your Real Self or your Spiritual Centre is always within you at every moment of your life. 

It’s going to be within you till the last breath of your physical life.

So The Source or The Spiritual centre is never really lost but you lose the sense of oneness with it in the birth trauma of the new life.

At the unconscious level the new born baby understands that his paradise was lost forever. 

Also that his permanent point of reference of oneness with the mother was also lost.

But to survive in the new harsh world the baby very much needs some point of reference to know its own existence.

The baby desperately needs at least some degree of security, love and joy to face the new world’s harshness.

Therefore, from birth onwards every baby is in a search – the search of the lost paradise and the search of a fixed point of reference for his own existence………

You as a baby try to find substitute centers or new points of reference in the people and things around. 

They may not give the bliss of the original center but at least they are functional for the time being.

The mother’s soft loving touch and life giving milk become the first new centers.

The baby’s new existence starts revolving around the mother’s love. 

It starts identifying itself and its very existence through its mother.

Very soon father and other family members also become points of identity for the growing up baby.

It starts identifying itself with them also and feels playful and joyful in their laps too.

That’s why with a stranger the baby feels threatened and starts yelling. 

But it becomes quiet and happy in the mother’s lap immediately………

To do anything and everything in life you do need a centre or a fixed point of reference.

For example, you do need these words to remain stable to move your eyes over them for reading.

You do need to have your chair and table fixed as a point of reference.

You need the floor to be stationary at one place so that you can walk over it easily.

Yes, very much. With growing age you keep on identifying with new substitute centers.

These changing outer centers come in the shape of your parents, siblings, relatives, friends, religion, caste, customs, etc.

The list then starts including national identity, marks, medals, business, money, cars, bungalows, social status, material possessions, sex, relationships, children, grand children etc., etc. …… the list goes on and on all your life.

You are so true. 

At every stage with a new identification with a new center you are in for a shock. 

You always hoped against hope that 'At least this new friend, new relationship or this new possession will be permanent this time.'

But all of them turned out again to be temporary or impermanent.

Exactly! You’ve hit it right on the nail head!!!

Your search for the lost paradise is not wrong. 

The direction of the search is wrong!

Your own life itself is the biggest proof. 

Nothing else is really needed.

Please see inside you honestly and see your set of personal and professional relationships for the last a few years. 

Don’t you find a strange emptiness, a restlessness, an underlying anxiety or some fears beneath your external personality?

The final diagnosis in reality is that happiness or peace of mind is already inside you in your own True Spiritual Centre. 

Its search outside in your outer false substitute centers is basically a totally futile journey.

As long as you are focusing on changing the outer circumstances and people’s behavior, nothing will ever change in your life. 

Same old game of fear, frustrations, misery and anxiety will continue to be played everyday in your life.

Therefore, your first and the only priority is to change the direction of your search to inside your own self rather than to outside.

Start on the path of meditation. 

As the time passes you’ll automatically start getting centered in your own True Self.

Your relationship conflicts – whether at home or in work place – start melting away slowly. 

Soon you’ll realize that circumstances, people and their nature have not changed. 

But you have changed – you have become more peaceful, secure and happy simply without any reason………

Please contact Dr. Arora for his well-known mind power training on 7 Mind Secrets.

Just call him now to directly talk with him.

Then Dr. Arora, an awakened soul, will help you through his Online Group Coaching on ‘7 Mind Secrets’. 

For the last more than 4 decades he has been helping ambitious people like you who are having  Severe Anxiety and Inferiority Complex & Shyness.