A balanced approach is the best approach
There are lots of conflicts happening in our family between elders and youngsters. How to deal with this very stressful situation?
- The real problem is not between elders and youngsters.
- The real problem is the instrument which all of you are using to deal with each other – that is your own human mind! Yes, your own mind.
Your M.I.N.D. has 4 definite characteristics:
M – Monkey thoughts
- Monkeys keep on jumping from this branch to that branch. They just cannot sit still for some period. They just cannot remain peaceful.
Same way your mind is a crowd of monkeys.
- These monkeys cannot remain stationary on any one thought. They keep on jumping from thoughts to thoughts.
- What do you feel? Do you agree?
These particular monkeys are always quarrelling with each other.
- That’s the reason why most of the thoughts are contradictory to other thoughts.
For example, your one mind wants to go to your friend’s birthday party.
- But another mind tells you that the next day you have your exams and you must not waste any time.
- So you are divided because your mind is a house divided.
Your one mind wants to reduce weight and commits to get up early morning every day for the walking and yoga.
- But when the time comes to get up early another mind within you wants to sleep for just another half hour. Again, the same contradiction!
- Just be sensitive enough to watch closely.
- You’ll find that there is a huge amount of inner conflict taking place within your mind at any given time because of such mutually antagonistic thoughts.
- Such inner conflicts suck your energy right since morning every day.
- This makes you feel foul and cranky.
- Then you can be upset easily by anybody on very petty issues.
- The tragedy starts unfolding when you start finding scapegoats for your own mind’s energy-sucking games.
- You start finding faults with other human beings. You blame them for your mind’s troubles.
- But the same game is played by your family members too.
- You find fault with them and they find fault with you.
- A football game starts – you kick…they kick…you kick…they kick… and the silly game of arguments and counter-arguments goes on day everyday.
Do you see the reality?
- No one is actually troubling anybody.
- It’s your mind which is playing this dirty game of bitterness and self-destructionbecause like monkeys it just cannot remain peaceful………
I – Incomplete, Insecure, Inadequate and Inferior
- In the same instant your mind can either see the top or the bottom. Same way it can see the left but not the right.
If it sees the right then it loses the view of the left.
- If it sees you going from point A to point B, then it cannot see you coming towards point B from point A in the same moment.
- Thus, your mind inherently cannot see the whole reality at any given time.
- So it always feels incomplete and hence insecure.
- This further leads to feeling of inadequacy and inferiority with in you.
- It’s like an incomplete jigsaw puzzle.
- This insecurity and incompleteness is a part and parcel of your life in every moment.
- The instrument of mind itself is designed by the Creator like this.
But you blame other people or some circumstances for your anguish.
- You feel that they are making you feel insecure or inferior.
Then you expect that your family members will provide you that security and completeness. However, they too are equally insecure and incomplete.
- They are expecting the same thing from you!
- It’s like a beggar begging from another beggar!
As long as you fulfil each other’s expectations to some degree at least, the relationship remains very loving and friendly.
- But for most of the deep expectations both the parties feel cheated and let down.
- You cannot fulfil their expectations and they fail to come up to your expectations.
- These unfulfilled expectations then lead to frustrations and inter-personal conflicts.
- Like a father keeps on expecting that his bright son should get 90% marks in science.
- But the son’s mind has dreams of his own.
- He is more interested in music. Result is the inevitable conflict.
Similarly, the growing up teenage daughter wants to go to parties now.
- But the parents are worried about any misadventure.
- Plus, they have to consider ‘What will people say?’
There are going to be huge clashes now for the coming decade.
- Such silly games are happening all over the world in every family. The problem is not the generation gap but the human mind itself!………
N – Never fulfilled
- Human mind can never feel fulfilled.
- It is its inherent manufacturing defect.
- It will always focus more on glass is half-empty or what is missing or what is wrong or what is not being given.
- It just cannot feel contented with its countless blessings and beautiful things already present.
As a result, parents feel that their hardships in meeting the children’s demands with ever-rising prices are not being appreciated by their kids.
The youngsters, on the other hand, feel that parents are being too interfering in the children’s personal freedom; that they are too old fashionedand don’t understand the creative juices flowing in the minds of the young budding geniuses.
This very game was played just about 30 years ago by these parents’ own parents with them.
- Today they are having the same conflicts with their own children.
- Nothing has changed really over the generations because the human mind’s focus on the negative has not changed………
D – Divided, Doubtful
- Your mind oscillates between various extremes.
- Whatever it does it questions its own self after some time. Hence it is always dividedbetween this and that, to be or not to be.
- It just does not trust itself.
- Therefore, it does not trust others too.
- This is not bad by itself.
- In fact, in life it is good to be cautious.
- But it is bad to be overcautious.
This divided nature of human mind causes parents to doubt their children’s intentions or capabilities.
- The children feel unappreciated or unloved.
- They retaliate silently in their own ingenious ways.
- The game of shouting and more shouting goes on and on………
I really wish to be a perfect human being who does everything for the family’s happiness. What to do then?
- Please understand that you are having an impossible dream.
- You simply cannot please everybody and make all members happy all the time.
- Please accept your and their imperfections as normal.
- All of you are just being human, that’s all.
- The real beauty and fun of human life lies in your family members’ eccentricities only.
Learning to be tolerant, patient and accepting each other’s fallacies is what makes your life enriched finally.
- Please stop playing this Bollywood movie game of an ideal perfect hero or heroine.
But it is easier said than done.
- Here practicing meditation daily will help your family a lot and lot.
- Meditation will remove the clutter of your thoughts and take away your focus from the negative very silently and effortlessly.
Soon you’ll feel as if your mind has been washed in a washing machine and you have come out properly cleansed.
We know from our own experience of so many families whose members are today leading very cordial and loving lives because of only one technique – and that is meditation………
OK. Can you also show me now how to strike a balance between love and discipline while bringing up children?
- This is a very good question.
- There are only 4 ways to bring up your children:
I] Permissive style: Only love, no discipline
- Some parents are too much attached with their children’s moods.
- It is usually the case with single child, single son orsingle daughter families.
They just cannot bear to see their kids weeping.
- So in the name of love they fulfil all their demands, even if they are unreasonable.
- Such children become masters of E.B.M. [Emotional Black Mail]. They grow up to be spoilt royal brats. They learn to grow up with the wrong notion that the world and its mere mortals have been only born to serve their royal self.
- When they grow up such children find it very tough to work in teams or to have warm functional relationships with other people.
- Their spouses especially have a real tough time dealing with their unrealistic demands.
- Meditation is the only hope of these royal brats to come down to mother earth from their lofty thrones.
- Only then they can have functional relationships in their personal and professional lives………
II] Strict style: Only discipline, no love
- On the other hand, some parents go to the other extreme.
- They are usually high achievers themselves and expect the same from their children.
- Most of them are from strict family upbringing themselves.
- Parents coming from police or defence background fall prey to this parenting style usually.
- Physical beatings, criticism and condemnation are very common with such parents – all in the name of love!
- Here children are not shown cuddling love for the fear of spoiling their future.
- Such parents forget the saying that ‘Love not only should be done; it should be seen to be done also’.
- Such children grow up to be very under-confident, passive and fearful adults.
- They might even start stammering badly.
- Conversely, some other children become rebellious from an early age.
- They become destructive trouble makers as they grow up.
- Occasionally, some land up on the criminal path to rebel against any authority.
- Meditation is the master key that shows the right perspective of living a beautiful trouble-free life to such disturbed souls………
III] Neglecting style: No love, no discipline
- Some parents are too busy in their respective careers to give proper attention to their children.
- Or they are too busy fighting with each other in their own dysfunctional marriage.
In spite of their good intentions to be good parents they just don’t have the time or the energy to give love or discipline to their unfortunate children.
- Such most unfortunate children grow up as confused adults.
- Their ideas about right and wrong and social and moral ethics are usually muddled up.
- Meditation is the only way through which such troubled souls can get the right sense of balance and inner peace………
IV] Balanced style: Optimum love, optimum discipline
- These children are the luckiest ones. Most often these parents have been into meditation themselves for a long time.
Here they learn that ‘Balancing in everything, balancing is everything’.
Getting a proper, healthy and optimum dose of love as well as discipline, such lucky souls unleash their full inherent potential in whatever field they choose very easily.
- They are the born leaders amongst their respective peers………
What if I need personalized guidance to overcome our family’s serious problems faster?
- Your family just needs to contact Dr. Arora in this situation………
- Sorry. We are sure you understand by now that there can be no mind power postal solution for your complex problems.
- Only a totally customized and personalized package of various mind power techniques taught to you personally by Dr. Arora can remove your various difficulties………
Can I get rid of my problems totally in your Online Course?
- Yes, surely very much. If you cannot come to Pune personally, then you can take your training online through Skype.
- The results of our online mind power training through Skype are the same as your personal mind power training in Pune.
- All the results depend on you and your own practice of the various mind power skills that Dr. Arora will be teaching you………
I heard that you also give free life-membership?
- Sure. After doing our Basic Course in Pune you get a life-membership for our Basic Group Course without any extra charges.
- To upgrade your mind power skills, you are welcome to repeat the whole or the partial Basic Group Course of Dr. Arora’s 7 MIND SECRETSany number of times any time in your life in the future………
How to solve my personal problems then?
- There are only 2 steps in solving your personal problems:
- You have already taken the first and the mostimportant step. That was to take initiative and find out on the net how to go about solving your problems.
- This most crucial step has already taken you on the right path. By taking this step you have already solved 49% of your problems. Yes, you read correctly…49%!!!
- It’s because finally YOU decided that “I have to take charge of my life. That it’s high time I did something constructive to solve my personal problems. It’s my life after all. For this I am willing to take a professional help”………
What is the remaining 51% step now?
- Pleasecall us at +919371019517or +919890930815 for your personal appointment with us.
- Please note that because of the availability of very limited seats in our training course only a few appointments are given in a day.
- Please note that we are here to help you to solve your problems from their roots. For this we have to give you total personal attention in our counselling and training.
- Therefore, for the sake of maintaining our very high-quality standards, Dr. Arora takes up very limited participants in our group training sessions.
- Dr. Arora, a medical doctor, is a self-realized soul and does not give any medicines or do any surgery.
- In the last 4 decades he has already helped thousands of people like you of both sexes and all ageswith various personal problems from all walks of life.
- He will help you too to solve your problems totally.
- He will personally guide you to realize your life’s big dreams through his customized and tailor-made mind power counselling and training for you………
Please CALL US TODAY on +91 9371019517 or +91 9890930815.