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Passive-aggressive Behavior

Do you want to stop suffering because of your submissive nature?

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Today's Mind Secret
Say "No" when you want to say no. Learn today to say "Yes" only when you do want to say yes.........

Passive-aggressive Behavior
Extreme behaviors are
always destructive

[Want to know more about this topic's practical application in your life? ... Read more about Dr. Arora's Personal Growth Training here]

What is passive or submissive behavior?

  • It is a timid behavior operating from a mind-set of ‘I lose, you win’. Its basic cause is the constant thought ‘What will people say?’
  • You cannot say ‘No’ when you really want to say ‘No’ and cannot say ‘Yes’ when you do want to say ‘Yes’.
  • Behind it is your d-e-e-e-e-e-ply seated desire to be called ‘a good person’ at all times by everyone everywhere.
You don’t express your feelings to the offending person at the right time then and there. It’s because you carry an erroneous belief that ‘They should themselves understand my feelings without me saying anything’.
You go out of the way so that they don’t call you ‘selfish’ or ‘a bad person’. So you suppress your own desires to sacrifice for others.
Saying ‘No’ causes a big guilt within you. To avoid this bad feeling you want to please others and never antagonize them.
  • You feel like a puppet whose strings are being pulled by other people. Very soon you feel that you are being pushed around, people don’t respect you really and your opinions really don’t matter.
  • You feel that others manipulate you easily and just take you for granted.
  • You start feeling more and more suppressed, compressed and oppressed. As a result you often feel depressed for no obvious cause.
  • Your self-esteem goes down; you feel low and a loser.
Slowly you accumulate a lot of suppressed anger and bitterness within you. You become like a pressure cooker filled with water and kept on the burning gas. From outside it looks very peaceful, but inside it is filled up with lot of steam.

What is aggressive behavior?

  • Now the mind set is ‘I have been suffering so much because of people like you; I must show you who I am today. Now ‘I win and you lose’. Enough is enough now.’
So after some time your inner pressure cooker gives off huge steam suddenly on the nearest person’s face. You go to the other extreme and release your pent-up anger and frustrations.
You just cannot control your anger and use foul words which hurt others and damage your relationships.
Later you feel sorry for your wrong behavior. You become more submissive to atone for your stupidity. But after some time the same explosion occurs once again.
  • Both submissive and aggressive behaviors are extreme behaviors. Both are very dysfunctional and destructive finally to every one’s peace of mind.
Like a pendulum’s oscillation this game of passive-aggressive behavior slowly becomes more frequent. It damages those very relationships which you wanted to preserve in the first place. Finally there is only bitterness and frustration all around.
You still feel like a puppet whose strings are being pulled by other people.
Remember, short-term gain, life-long pain!
  • Your self-esteem still goes down; you feel still low and lousy most often.

What is assertive behavior?

If the extreme A is aggressive, the extreme C is passive or submissive, then the middle point B is balanced or assertive behavior.
  • It is being firm as well courteous without any anger. The basic mind-set is win-win attitude, ie. ‘I win, you win’.
  • It is a consistent middle-of-the–path behavior where you express your feelings to the right person at the right time in the right tone.
You say ‘Yes’ only when you want to say so. Otherwise, politely but firmly you say ‘No’. It’s better to face a little friction for 5 minutes rather than create disharmony all around afterwards.
Remember, short-term pain, life-long gain!
You don’t beat about the bush and don’t expect that ‘They should understand my feelings without me saying anything’.
On the contrary, you openly express your thoughts in the right tone to the right person at the right time – without feeling guilty about it.
  • You stop feeling like a puppet. Now you pull your own strings.

I understand now what you are saying. But I feel I need personalized guidance to save me a lot of time and energy. Otherwise, will it not be a hit and trial method?

Yes, you are right. At times you do need a proper guidance to save yourself unnecessary trouble.
It’s like taking professional help from your doctor, lawyer, architect or chartered accountant. It’s like calling upon an IT professional to design your life’s personal website.
In such a case you can call Dr. Arora.
Dr. Arora, an awakened soul, has been helping thousands of people from all walks of life without any medicines or surgery to become assertive and lead a well-balanced life.
This he has been doing through his customized training of ‘7 Mind Secrets’ for the last more than 3 decades.
He will help you too to master the ways of a win-win attitude, no matter what work you do.

Please CALL US TODAY for a FREE introductory personal session.

Learn to say ‘No’ when you want to say ‘No’.
You have nothing to lose other than your passive suffering behavior!

Raees Ahmed Siddiqui,  38 yrs., Diploma in Ref & A/C

"The course has taught me to become confident, taking better decisions, public speaking and managing tensions of day-to-day life.
Moreover, the self-marketing art has increased my income more than three times of what I was earning before joining the course."

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