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Mind Guru Dr. Sudhir Arora, MBBS
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Today's Mind Secret
Seek forgiveness from others not because you have to please them. Learn today that it's only because now you have decided to move on with your life without guilt.........

How to Handle Guilt and be Free Again
Guilt is the most destructive human emotion

[Want to know more about this topic's practical application in your life? ... Read more about Dr. Arora's Personal Growth Training here]

What is guilt?

Out of all creation guilt is found only in man. It is basically anger against your own self for perceiving yourself as a bad person for having done something bad.
When guilt is essential to control your wild and primitive urges for the survival of the society and human species, it is a healthy social guilt. For example, beating a blind person or killing someone in anger will create tremendous guilt within you. That’s why you refrain from doing such acts.
  • This helps to keep at least some reasonable levels of sanity in the social order. If there was no guilt then it will become a jungle raj and the social life will break down. It’s what is happening today in some of our Indian states and countries like Afghanistan, Burma, Somalia, etc.
But when guilt starts destroying you own self from inside, then it is a very harmful neurotic guilt. For example, you stole some money when you were a small innocent child, or you did not come up to the expectations of your elders in academics.
That thing is long over in your life but you still curse and criticize yourself silently for ‘such a wrong and shameful act’. Nothing can be done ‘to correct’ that past mistake today. But you keep on repeatedly punishing yourself even today by condemning yourself.
  • This self-destruction is like white termites eating you alive from inside and soon destroys your happiness and peace of mind………

How does guilt develop?

All of us suffer from guilt to various degrees.
Do’s and don’ts about sex and religion are the most widely prevalent guilt makers. Parents, teachers, priests and society all contribute to make you guilty.
For example,
"You would do this if you really loved me."
"If you talk back, you are a bad son."
"I’ll die if you don’t do as I say."
"You have brought shame on our family honor."
"If you don’t give donation to the temple, then God will not love you and you are not a good man."
"If you go out with the opposite sex, then you are a characterless bad person." ………

So what is the harmful influence of guilt?

Guilty person feels inferior, under-confident and insecure. He has a low self-esteem. The more is the hidden guilt more is the inferiority complex, under-confidence and insecurity.
Therefore, either a guilty person
  • becomes an introverted shy and nervous person,
  • or always feels fear of ‘what will people say’,
  • or starts drowning himself in addictions like alcohol or drugs,
  • or becomes a workaholic to prove to himself and others that he is good at least somewhere,
  • or tries to be a perfectionist,
  • or develops some stress-related disease like pimples, skin allergies, migraine, diabetes, BP, heart disease, asthma, etc.
  • or tries to be an ideal mate, an ideal parent, an ideal child, an ideal employee, an ideal teacher, etc………

How to handle guilt constructively then?

You have been brought up in a civilized human society. Therefore, at times you had been judged as wrong by your elders and society in the past. You carry its long-term effects in the shape of guilt even today.
  • You may not remember those incidences today. Or you might have learnt by now to live with them peacefully. Alternatively, you may rationalize that it was all done with good intensions. Or you may justify that all that done was for your own benefit ultimately.
  • But first of all, you have to accept that the small innocent child within you had been traumatized by those painful experiences. Those mental scars may not be visible today, but they silently suck out your daily life’s energy through guilt.
The following steps will help you in dealing with your guilt effectively :

A] Self-acceptance

Accept your imperfections and your human "grey" nature - neither absolutely black nor absolutely white.
Witness the thoughts of guilt when they arise through meditation. Understand through meditation that actions can be good or bad. But you are always good. You are different from your actions………

B] Sharing

Express your guilt to a trusted friend or counselor in a relaxed unhurried setting.
Or imagine that your "crime" was done by your best friend and not by you. Now "advise" him how really insignificant that blunder is. If it’s OK for your best friend to make that blunder as a human being, then it’s OK for you too to accept yourself as a human being.
  • It’s very important to accept mistakes and take corrective actions. But it’s not right to just keep on feeling guilty for that mistake and not do anything concrete………

C] Improving your self-esteem

Feeling guilty does not mean that you are a "caring human being". Striving for improvement is correct but feeling guilty for your imperfections is silly.
It’s good to learn from your mistakes of the past but don’t put yourself into a cage of guilt. Feeling guilty makes the situation even worse and pushes you in a vicious cycle………

D] Setting down-to-earth standards

Don’t look for “approval” from others. Make your own realistic standards of behaviors.
  • God made your imperfect and, therefore, forgives youfor taking imperfect decisions. If He can forgive you, then why can’t you forgive yourself?
Therefore, make your own realistic moral codes. Stick to them. Only you are the judge of your own actions. Don’t judge yourself by the standards set by others………

But I am still not able to be totally free of my deep guilt. What to do then?

Then you definitely need a personalized guidance. You can contact Dr. Arora in such a situation.
Dr. Arora, a medical doctor, is an awakened soul. Through his customized training of ‘7 Mind Secrets’ in the last more than 3 decades he has already helped many people like you to come out of their guilt. He will help you too to clear your load of intense guilt.

Please CALL US TODAY for a FREE personal session.

Convert your guilt energy into your formidable strength.
You have nothing to lose other than your self-hurt!

Sameer Kulkarni,  20 yrs., T.Y. Engg.

"Really, what I have gained from Dr. Arora is too immense to be written down on a piece of paper.
The whole of the course is based on 'Meditation' & 'Awareness' which have changed my life radically in the past month. I have got rid of my tensions, worries and improved my concentration immensely.
I have also improved a lot on the spiritual level & the course helped me get closer to my Spiritual Self."

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